In this episode of the Hello Frequency podcast, I’m joined by Nimasha Fernando, a Kiwi Sri Lankan designer and researcher living in Aotearoa New Zealand, who explores identity, language, whakapapa and belonging through typography. 

We begin with a simple question: what does empathy mean to you? But as usual, the conversation goes into many places. 

Nimasha talks about empathy as seeing ourselves in other people, but also as something we can feel towards animals, plants, objects and the natural world around us. We discuss how empathy is not always something formally taught. Sometimes we learn it from our families, from feeding stray dogs, from watching animal documentaries, from caring for a plant, or from simply paying attention.

We also talk about language, and how some feelings cannot be translated neatly into English. Through Sinhala, Tamil, Te Reo Māori, body language and even moments of not understanding one another, we explore ways people can still connect. 

Nimasha shares stories from her recent time in Sri Lanka, including learning from communities in Jaffna, attempting to recite a Tamil poem in front of a school, and allowing herself to get things wrong. This leads us into a conversation about vulnerability, humility and letting go of the ego. Maybe, as Nimasha puts it, “empathy is also being okay with looking a little silly sometimes.”  

We speak honestly about being Sri Lankan and queer, finding community, challenging the enforced norm to be the “good immigrant”, unlearning colonial thinking, and making space for the different layers of who we are. We also touch on Sri Lanka’s violent histories, the need to listen to experiences outside our own, and the importance of approaching these conversations with care. 

This conversation is not a perfect definition of empathy. It is more like two people thinking out loud, getting a little lost, finding connections, and weaving together stories about culture, community, language, migration, and the whenua land we live on. 

And in very Sri Lankan fashion, we also take a long time to say goodbye.